A Cheese-a-thon Biography - Tom

Bio of a Cheesehead
Bass Masterson, AKA Tom

Born in the lakes region of New Hamphire during the spawning season amid cries of "swim downstream". Bass organizes bass contests that do not allow the use of baits. Earlier tournaments that prohibited the use of boats and poles met with less success.

With the success of the "release em if you catch em, smoke em if they come back" contests, Bass snagged his current wife (Miss Provolone) using a swedish pimple jitterbug lure and an underhanded cast that gives new meaning to the phrase "Stiff upper lip".

Bass's favorite movies are "Creature From The Black Lagoon", "Lake Placid" and "Jaws". His turn ons are night crawlers, and his turn-offs are moldy bread, barbs, and the greedy grizzly.

Last Modified: April 24, 2004
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